Since Carly and Isaac were conceived, we have prayed for their salvation. Since they were born, we have worked for their salvation. We have exposed them to gospel truth. And even though we've failed (and continue to fail) many times, we have strived to live our lives as such examples that would bring honor to Christ. As parents, we have no greater desire for our kids than that - to be saved.
I have wrestled with this question: How can I lead our kids to Christ? And then...How do I know if my child is saved? In all raw honesty, I have used bedtimes to manipulate our kids to come to Christ. We've read through the children's Bibles; we've talked through all aspects of the Gospel. They know the right answers. And with each child, I have prayed a little prayer with them for Jesus to come into his/her heart, whether or not this is good or bad for a parent to do. But are they saved?
Do I know what that question really means? What I'm really asking is...Is God working in the life of my child unto salvation? You see, what I'm beginning to understand is that salvation is a divine work of God, not a work of Mom or Dad. John MacArthur believes that a prayer, such as the one mentioned above, "is basically a human act and not necessarily consistent with the working of God."
MacArthur says, "You can't look at any event, at any specific prayer, at any specific formula, at any particular confession that they might make that in fact they have asked Jesus into their life or they've made a decision for Christ. That is not an indicator of salvation. You cannot look at any such event to know your child is saved. And I think that it is important to say because so many parents having heard their child pray such a prayer or make such a decision in early childhood then wonder how it is that the child reaching junior high, or high school, or college years completely turns their back on the Lord or treats God with indifference or is disinterested in the church and roams off into the world... And they wonder how in fact that could happen if they were saved at some point in time past. But you cannot look at an event as an indicator of salvation. The only thing you can look at is evidences of the working of God in the life."
So what he's saying is that the only thing we can look at are the evidences of God's work in our children's lives, and even then only God knows the true state of the heart. I found these evidences to be helpful [very summarized, of course]:
- Honest, personal conviction of sin. Not because of their fear of our parental punishment or disappointment. This conviction should lead them to repentance. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
- Understanding and belief of the Gospel. This is the fact that each one of us is sinful, in need of forgiveness - a Savior. Jesus Christ bore the punishment of God - the punishment that we deserved. To grasp that truth also requires the work of the Holy Spirit.
- Sanctification. A pursuing of obedience - not because they want to please us, but because they want to honor God. Only by the help of the Holy Spirit is this even feasible.
- God produces fellowship within believers. A desire to be around other believers. That desire comes from the work of the Holy Spirit as well.
Side Notes
I'm not saying that #1-4 SAVE.
God saves.
#1-4 are evidences of salvation already occurring.
A recurring phrase that is the whole point of this............"work of the Holy Spirit" or "God working." I get it. I can't save my own kid. (I say "my own kid." They're not even from me - they're God's children.) The prayer I prayed isn't a magic formula that will give them the ticket to Heaven. So what's our job? As parents, we will continue to provide the truth of God's Word, in which the Spirit of God can work in their hearts to bring about a miracle of salvation.
