children getting saved

Since Carly and Isaac were conceived, we have prayed for their salvation. Since they were born, we have worked for their salvation. We have exposed them to gospel truth. And even though we've failed (and continue to fail) many times, we have strived to live our lives as such examples that would bring honor to Christ. As parents, we have no greater desire for our kids than that - to be saved.

I have wrestled with this question: How can I lead our kids to Christ? And then...How do I know if my child is saved? In all raw honesty, I have used bedtimes to manipulate our kids to come to Christ. We've read through the children's Bibles; we've talked through all aspects of the Gospel. They know the right answers. And with each child, I have prayed a little prayer with them for Jesus to come into his/her heart, whether or not this is good or bad for a parent to do. But are they saved?

Do I know what that question really means? What I'm really asking is...Is God working in the life of my child unto salvation? You see, what I'm beginning to understand is that salvation is a divine work of God, not a work of Mom or Dad. John MacArthur believes that a prayer, such as the one mentioned above, "is basically a human act and not necessarily consistent with the working of God."

MacArthur says, "You can't look at any event, at any specific prayer, at any specific formula, at any particular confession that they might make that in fact they have asked Jesus into their life or they've made a decision for Christ. That is not an indicator of salvation. You cannot look at any such event to know your child is saved. And I think that it is important to say because so many parents having heard their child pray such a prayer or make such a decision in early childhood then wonder how it is that the child reaching junior high, or high school, or college years completely turns their back on the Lord or treats God with indifference or is disinterested in the church and roams off into the world... And they wonder how in fact that could happen if they were saved at some point in time past. But you cannot look at an event as an indicator of salvation. The only thing you can look at is evidences of the working of God in the life."

So what he's saying is that the only thing we can look at are the evidences of God's work in our children's lives, and even then only God knows the true state of the heart. I found these evidences to be helpful [very summarized, of course]:

1. Honest, personal conviction of sin. Not because of their fear of our parental punishment or disappointment. This conviction should lead them to repentance. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
2. Understanding and belief of the Gospel. This is the fact that each one of us is sinful, in need of forgiveness - a Savior. Jesus Christ bore the punishment of God - the punishment that we deserved. To grasp that truth also requires the work of the Holy Spirit.
3. Sanctification. A pursuing of obedience - not because they want to please us, but because they want to honor God. Only by the help of the Holy Spirit is this even feasible.
4. God produces fellowship within believers. A desire to be around other believers. That desire comes from the work of the Holy Spirit as well.

Side Notes

I'm not saying that #1-4 SAVE.

God saves.

#1-4 are evidences of salvation already occurring.

A recurring phrase that is the whole point of this............"work of the Holy Spirit" or "God working." I get it. I can't save my own kid. (I say "my own kid." They're not even from me - they're God's children.) The prayer I prayed isn't a magic formula that will give them the ticket to Heaven. So what's our job? As parents, we will continue to provide the truth of God's Word, in which the Spirit of God can work in their hearts to bring about a miracle of salvation.

mom = engineer

Isaac's mission this afternoon was to build a K'nex tow-truck. For a mom, this means the housework does not get done. Seriously, the K'nex instructions for a tow-truck have 33 steps. No wonder they don't have good instructions included in the box. We got these on the K'nex website in a pdf file.

No one ever told me that 'motherhood' also meant 'engineer'. I gotta give credit to the kid, though. He made it through Step 20 on his own.

"Uh-oh, Mommy! This part broke."

I'm off to repair this truck now. I plan on him playing with it for a LONG time, because I'm not building anymore this week.

shining face of Moses

Have you ever stopped to ponder the glory of God? For someone like me, it's hard to consider how BIG God is!

Last night, Carly's story-bible covered sections of Exodus. The children of Israel had [literally] been led out of Egypt by a pillar of cloud from God. In Chapter 19, God commanded the Israelites to come to the foot of Mount Sinai, for He was going to come down on the mountain in the sight of everyone. The special instructions for the Israelites were: "Take care not to go up into the mountain or touch the edge of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall be put to death." (Read more from Chapter 19 for more details.) I wonder if someone tried it. And died. God came down onto the mountain, and there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud on the mountain and a very loud trumpet blast and fire. Did the people think it was just a good light show? No, they were afraid. They trembled. Even the mountain trembled.

In Chapter 34, when Moses came down from Mount Sinai, "the skin of his face shone because he had been talking with God." Because of this, the Israelites were even afraid of Moses! So Moses put a veil over his face.

For a six-year-old listening to this story, many questions arise. What's a veil? Why did his face shine? Because God's glory is so great that even talking to God made it shine, and Moses didn't even look directly at God! Why were the people afraid? Because you die if you look at the fullness of God. Why? Because that's how holy God is. That's how perfect He is. I'm no good at answering 'why' questions. Coincidentally, Daddy came walking into the bedroom and answered them for me.

Do we realize how GREAT God is? This is a very feeble attempt at explaining it. God is SO great!

santa

A very important discussion took place the other day. The kids were discussing whether Santa was real or not. We've always told them the truth about Santa. Oh, maybe that dashes some fun childhood games that could have been, but we've still told them that Santa isn't real, reindeer don't fly, and we buy the kids' Christmas presents. You can call us (me) Humbug.

If you watch "Polar Express," you'll see our reasoning. When the Polar Express train arrives at the North Pole and Santa makes his entrance, there is an extraordinary amount of Santa-worshiping going on there by thousands of little elves and kids. Santa is exalted as one might exalt God, and that bothers me immensely. Perhaps this is just a "Polar Express" problem, but I think our society puts far too much emphasis on Santa Claus where all the praise should be to Jesus.

Isaac got to thinking about Santa the other day, and he concluded, "Santa Claus is old, and old people can't go down chimneys!!" He thought a while and exclaimed, "Well, if he DID go down the chimney, he'd burn his butt!" Carly jumped on that one. She said, "Isaac, don't say the B-word!"

Jesus is the reason for the season.

signs of a sick kid

Isaac was going strong until yesterday at my family's Thanksgiving celebration.

4:00 p.m.

Cuddled on my lap humming "Rock of Ages" in almost monotone. Over and over and over.

After several times through this song, he got up to play some more.

5:30 p.m.

Cuddled on Jared's lap singing in very slow motion...."You've got to move it, move it....you've got to move it, move it....you've got to move it, move it...." That was monotone, too.

6:00 p.m.

Crash on the bed.

NEXT DAY

Picking up Legos while humming "I'm in the Lord's Army" over and over and over. Still marching in the infantry slowly while laying on the floor. And his "Yes, SIRs" aren't quite considered enthusiastic.

It'll get better.

car talk

They say that you should turn off the radio in the car when travelling with your kids. Kids communicate better when you aren't staring them in the face, I guess. This is our normal practice to and from town. On one section of the road, we talk about what we're thankful for. On another, we talk about the day's plans. These subjects sometimes turn into more meaningful talk. Take Monday, for instance, which went something like this:

Myra: Today is Grandma Aberle's birthday. She's 57 years old!

Carly: And you're 31.

Isaac: How can she be older than you when you're bigger?

M: God just made me taller and bigger.

(The kids sat there, thinking thoughtful thoughts.)

I: Abraham's wife had a baby when she was as old as Grandpa Hartter!!

M: Wasn't that an awesome miracle? That's one reason why she laughed when God told her that she'd have a baby. She didn't believe it because she was so old. But God can do anything.

C: Yeah, you know that song, My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there's NOTHING my God cannot do! God can do anything He wants to.

Conversation followed. As we pulled up to the High Rise, the kids knew the routine. They'd go into the office and pick out a couple worksheets from their workbook to do before playing. Isaac summed up the whole conversation in a big, deep voice. He said with gusto, "Yeah! God can do REALLY HARD worksheets!"

I laughed and answered, "He can do a lot more than that!"

our purpose....so what does it matter

We all want our kids to succeed and do well. But what exactly does that mean? Both of our kids walked well at 10 months old. Of course, we were so proud when they beat the walking-at-1-year standard. I'm sure our faces were beaming as they followed us like Frankenstein from room to room.

Years pass, and there are new milestones and standards to meet. We enroll Carly in tee ball and help her practice. We pitch to her, play catch, and play our own little tee ball games at home so she has some sort of idea of what's going on. We want her to do well.

Carly also started swimming lessons this week. She has never been a natural fish in water, but she doesn't mind it when we dump pitchers of water on her head in the bathtub either. One battle we face with beginner's swimming lessons is the fact that she does not like to go under. Maybe it's because we didn't dunk her when we took her swimming as a baby. Maybe it's because she's witnessed Isaac's wide-eyed "I'm drowning" face several times. (See the fish pond blog for one example of this.)

As parents, it's so easy to compare our children with others. Other kids her age are doing this...or that. We subconsciously try to form our kids to be the best. But what does it matter?! Sure, it is important that we teach our kids the necessary skills for survival. Swimming is one of those things that might be necessary. Tee ball is helpful in that it teaches our kids to work and play with other kids and listen to a coach's instruction. But wait, was the battle I picked yesterday with Carly at the pool really necessary? I strongly encouraged her to go under...to the point of her whining and crying. She's gone under twice at swimming lessons, but she didn't go under this time. My "encouragement" probably made matters worse.

This morning as I was re-evaluating that pool situation and every reason for signing kids up for activities. I was reminded of our real p.u.r.p.o.s.e. in life. Have you ever noticed that the Bible does not instruct parents on how to teach their kids to swim? It talks about patience. It doesn't say a word about batting techniques. It doesn't even tell you what to do if you feel like your $60 on swimming lessons might be wasted. God's Word teaches us how to live. It teaches us HEART issues. It teaches us our real purpose - knowing Him and glorifying Him. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (John 17:3).

The questions were asked to us on Wednesday night: How many years have you spent gaining knowledge (schooling, studying, etc.)? How much time / effort / money has gone into being physically healthy? How many years have you made money? ........... And the question of the day: If your ONLY purpose is to know God (and glorifying Him goes hand-in-hand with that), HOW DOES THAT COMPARE to the amount of time and effort you've taken to know God?

We can parent our children as best we know how, but that better include working on their heart a whole lot more than their motor skills.

new learnings

I thought, "There's no way he can do it" as I took off the hardware. "He can't do it on his own."

We left the training wheels lay, figuring we'd have to run alongside him the whole time.

He took off, leaving us in the dust.

We're so proud of our little boy...who's not so little anymore.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

molding hearts

I don't want to tattle on our kids or reveal my mistakes as a mother. But I'm going to.

It was a perfect 75 degrees outside, as still and peaceful as a Beauty Rest pillow. I was hoeing the garden. The kids were playing on the swing set and came up with an absurd idea. "We want to watch a Blues Clues video!" Now, our TV is not hooked up to cable or satellite, so we get zero TV besides children's videos from the library. I answered the kids' request with, "It's too nice outside to watch videos inside. No videos today." They've heard this answer before, so they didn't whine or complain.

Minutes later, I saw them tiptoe inside (as if I couldn't plainly see them) as they whispered their plans to each other. I finished hoeing a few rows and went inside to check on them. The house was silent. I didn't see a light from under the basement door, so I checked their bedrooms. Silence. I re-checked the basement, this time opening the door. A light burned bright at the bottom of the stairs. Isaac was sitting in the video rocker; Carly had quickly unplugged the TV. The awful evidence of an empty DVD case lying open on the floor. Caught red-handed. I said in a very slow and quiet voice, "Go. to. your. rooms." I needed a minute to think of what to do with this situation. Blues Clues is a pretty innocent program, but disobedience and deception is not.

On one hand, it simply amazed me that a five-year-old could/would attempt to trick me into thinking they were not downstairs by turning off the stairway light and shutting the door, making it look like nothing was out of place. And to further cover up the wrong by unplugging the TV to hide their disobedience reminded me of Eve. On the other hand, it upset me to see obvious sin in my babies' hearts.

We learned about obedience and being truthful that day by discussing and reading from parts of Exodus 20... of course followed by a spankin' for each kid and a decree of no videos for two weeks. I gave the kids hugs afterwards and told them I loved them. We pray daily that their hearts would be molded to follow Christ. Next book on my list to read is Shepherding a Child's Heart. And it probably wouldn't hurt if you gave me parenting tips too.

a touch crazy

The kids are done for the day. Isaac sleeps deep. I peek into his room and look at the rise and fall of his chest. Just for a bit, I put my finger in his palm. He holds tight even as he sleeps. After the day is done, it's easy to forget the challenges of that day, especially to the soft hum of the David Nevue Pandora station. Why is it so hard to keep that perspective in the middle of the day?! I revisit Ann Voskamp's A Touch Crazy for the ump-teenth time, and pray that I can be a better mommy tomorrow.

bedtime for daddy

Since the kids were born, we've always had bedtime routines. Carly and Isaac go to sleep after stories, prayers, rubs, and songs. Carly developed the notion that she needs one rub for every year she's lived. She's five now, so she gets five rubs with five songs. She's told us she even wants 13 when she turns 13. We thought it would get less complicated as the kids get older.

The other night, Jared and I started teasing the kids that they ought to put us to bed this time. They agreed to putting Daddy to bed. He got under his covers, and Isaac came in to lay beside him just like we do with them. He said prayers and then started giving rubs.

Describing the sweetness of this moment is impossible to do on a blog. Isaac started singing softly, "I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be..." while he rubbed Daddy's arm back and forth quickly and not so gently. He sweetly sang Barney's I Love You/You Love Me and the first verse to Rock of Ages. Daddy was almost "sleeping." Then Isaac started in on Man of Constant Sorrow. By this time, Carly had joined in. The wailing started between Carly and Isaac: "I AM A MAN...of constant SORROW...I've seen trouble all my DAYS..." and it went on the whole length of the song. Biting his lips to keep from laughing, Jared continued to act like he was sleeping with a little chuckle here and there. It didn't work well when the kids finished that song and started singing I'm in the Jailhouse Now..."Knew a man named Gamblin' Bob, he used to steal gamble and rob......he's in the jailhouse now......I told him once or twice to stop playin' cards and a shootin' dice; he's in the jailhouse now..." clear to the yodels in the chorus! HOW do kids learn these words?!

I don't remember who ended up putting the kids to bed that night. All I remember is that Daddy wasn't asleep when the kids left his bedroom.

kid stories

A treasure I found today is a story Carly told me when she was 3 years old. I had written it down word-for-word.

Once upon a time, there was Suzy and Lucy and Mary and they had some mommies. Mimi and Doo-Doo, their mommies could be. They fighted over the toys and so Doo-Doo and Mimi said, "Little girls, we have to put them in time out," said Doo-Doo and Mimi to the little kids. They fighted over the crayons and the pencils, and so Doo-Doo and Mimi said, "We have to put the pencils and crayons in time out." And then they went with the stroller to the park because maybe they have a white stroller just like these two white pencils. They played on the playground. Then they went to their house and went to bed. You know, they all have nightgowns to wear to bed. Lucy and Mimi and Suzy and Mary and Doo-Doo - they all have nightgowns. The End.

I wondered how Isaac's storytelling might compare, so here's the story he told Carly and I tonight:

Once upon a time there was a house and some people and there was a book right on a roof of their house. Then, there was a train coming on the top of the roof and it wrecked on top of the roof. Then it went home, but soon a hotdog come walking on the street and an icecream and some cake. There was a lizard and a smiley-face and then a orange paper comed, and a blue paper comed. They comed on the roof, but they were a long ways from home. And there was a . . . . (Mommy stopped recording because Isaac started getting silly.) And that was all that comed. The End.

fall fun

We call this post 'fall fun' because I think Halloween is the dumbest holiday, thus making the title 'halloween' the dumbest title. The past few days have been spent thinking about whether or not we should participate in trick-or-treating. Every bit of research I've done on the origin and meaning of Halloween has just verified my stance.

Okay, okay, I remember trick-or-treating as a kid, and we had a blast. Dressing up, driving from house to house, knocking on doors, eating candy,...it was all fun. One old lady in the A.C. Home apartments didn't have any candy, so she sprinkled a few pretzels in our bag. To this day, we call her "pretzel-lady." Halloween was fun and games back then.

And now, I'm an old geezer who has a humbug attitude about it all because I know where Halloween comes from. There were several resources I used in researching this 'holiday,' but here's one from MacArthur. This year, we will not be trick-or-treating. But instead of being snotty neighbors with our lights turned off, pretending like we're not home, we will be handing out candy to other kids. We even have a jack-o-lantern. And here's why:

I found this fun story online about how a Christian is like a pumpkin. Visit the link for the full version. We went through the analogy while we carved the pumpkin this afternoon. We are like pumpkins in that God picks us from the patch and brings us in. He cleans us out, and sticks His light inside of us to shine for all the world to see. Here are a few images.

And here's a little bit of fun we had last night:

Since we saw the $6.00 sign for funnel cakes at Sea World, we've been hungry for them. We decided that we could make our own funnel cakes for $2.00, so we did. (These funnel cakes cost us 25 cents each. Sea World's $6.00 charge?! What a rip off!!) A piece of advice for you funnel cake lovers out there: fry them outside, so when you're sick to your stomach from eating all those funnel cakes, you won't have to smell the greasy fumes that stay in your house for days.

polishing off #3

(Jared ate most of #1 and #2.)

Funnel Cakes

2 eggs, beaten

1 1/2 c. milk

2 c. sifted flour

1 t. baking powder

1/2 t. salt

2-4 c. cooking oil (I used part Crisco.)

In a mixing bowl, combine eggs and milk. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt. Add to egg mixture; beat until smooth. Heat oil in 8" skillet to 360 degrees. Cover bottom of funnel with finger. Pour ½ c. batter into funnel. Remove finger and release batter into hot oil in a spiral shape. Fry until golden (about 3 minutes). Using a wide spatula and tongs, turn cake carefully. Drain on paper towel; sprinkle with powdered sugar. Serve hot. Makes 4-8.

mops: first time

The Mothers of Pre-Schoolers group started weekly meetings yesterday. The kids and I stood in line with other moms, waiting to drop our kids off in the appropriate child care rooms. This was an organized system. The computer lady at the front of the line quickly took my name, printed off name tags with barcodes for the kids and receipts for me to pick them up. Room P4 for Isaac. Room P5 for Carly. Separated? The kids were thinking they'd get to stick together. Now, for all of you who know how our kids have done in the nursery at church, you know that this seemed a little intimidating. We dropped Carly off in her room first. She stared at us with you're-gonna-leave-me-here-alone? eyes. She transformed to her quiet self and started to play. Next, I dropped Isaac off in his room. LOTS of kids in there....seemed chaotic with 2-3 girls crying for their mommies. I'm thinking, There's no chance I'm getting out of HERE today! But to my surprise....(Karla, listen to this!)....Isaac started playing, and he didn't cry, and he didn't throw an I-want-my-mommmmmmyyyy fit! In fact, two hours later, they were still playing and having fun! MOPS was a good time of meeting new women. I'll admit, I was watching the clock because two hours of childcare is a while. (I know: Myra, get over it.) But I think Mondays will be good for us. It'll be good for the kids to have interaction with others their age. And it'll be good for the recluse-me to socialize, I suppose. :)

mops: drive to

8:00...take Jared to work

9:10...pick up bread at Wal-Mart

9:12...cell phone rings. It's High Rise stuff. Self-checkout so I can keep talking.

9:13...another cell phone call. Rainbow wants to update High Rise modem.

9:14...kids push on self-checkout scales.

Self-Checkout voice says, "There are unexpected items in bagging area."

No, it's just my kids.

9:15...scold kids, continue talking on the phone.

9:16...pay for bread.

Isaac mimics the machine loudly, "PLEASE take your ITEMS!"

9:18...driving...get on Highway 67...cell phone rings. It's Rainbow again.

Do I want to increase internet speed?

No, not really, but I want to take Highway 67. I wonder what exit to take to get to MOPS.

9:19...Midas calls. Our car is finished and fixed....for now anyway. We can pick it up.

9:21...call High Rise to finalize Rainbow plans. Do I take this exit? Looks familiar.

Oops. Wrong exit. Light's turning yellow. Speed up.

Hang up the phone. Get back on Highway 67.

9:24...Smith Blvd. That's the right exit.

Dumb cell phones. No wonder people have wrecks.

We continue our previous review of what to expect for the morning...

Share toys with other kids.

Be kind.

Be loving.

Play nice.

9:26...arrive at church where MOPS is held.

9:27...get in line to drop kids off at childcare.

Disclaimer: Don't worry. Our mornings and drives are not usually like this. And I usually do not drive while talking on the cell phone.

school

San Angelo schools started today. Our kids are staying home. Isaac's too young anyway. (He's still running around in his underwear this morning, which, I guess, is becoming a common practice around here.) When we return home to Kansas, Carly will attend her second year of preschool at the Lutheran Preschool. Meanwhile, the kids have been and will be going through a homemade curriculum. We have 2-week-long themes integrating math, handwriting, and reading, but most of what we do is crafts. Our current theme is an animal theme (broad, I know).

My original goal of homeschool-preschool was to sit the kids down in a semi-formal setting and make them do structured classwork for at least 15-30 minutes a day. This sounds a little rigid to some, but I think kids need to know how to sit down, listen, and do what they're told to do. Our kids need handwriting help, so that's what we're practicing. Carly needs to learn how to read, so we've spent time at the table making words out of homemade letter tiles and reading simple books throughout the day.

I sound like a mean teacher with a stick. But what I really think is that kids will learn what they need to learn, especially with gentle parental guidance. I've told Jared before that I'd rather have a dumb kid who faithfully loves Jesus than a smart kid who rejects Him - not that it has to be one way or the other. But as we start sending Carly and Isaac off to school in the next couple years, I hope we can keep focus on what's really important.

the purpose of alum

Alum is a chemical compound, also known as hydrated aluminum potassium sulfate. You can find it in the spice section of your local grocery store. Alum can be used for pickling foods, in developing photographs, for preventing bleeding due to small shaving cuts. It was even used as a deodorizer years ago. And alum can also be used in punishing a child for saying naughty words. Just a tiny finger, licked and dipped in the alum will do the trick.

A year ago, we were using Dial soap. I remember getting soap as a kid if I called one of my sisters "stupid" or if I stuck my tongue out at one of them. It didn't taste good. We were using it with our kids if they had a problem with something bad coming out of their mouth. Soap would "clean out their mouth." (That came with an explanation of the reason why we use words that are pure.) I know that prayer for our kids is the ultimate solution; even being a strong, Christian model for them is crucial. Jared and I felt that using soap was a practical, immediate solution to the naughty-words problem. By "naughty words," I mean a defiant "NO!" or something of that severity coming out of the kids' mouths. Later, the kids started thinking it was funny to baby-talk in a snotty, sing-songy tone. Soap was the answer for that too.

But then, the kids overheard me laughing with Jared about Kaden's soap issue. If I can recall correctly, my sister Jeanne told me how Kaden claimed that he didn't care if she gave him soap anymore. He proclaimed, "I LIKE soap! It makes me STRONG!!!" Isaac adores Kaden. Shortly after that, Isaac started liking soap too. We needed something that didn't taste so good.

Enter ALUM

This idea came from sister-in-law Tara. Jared and I both tried it before giving it to our children. It does the trick. It does not taste good when smeared onto your tongue. And it fits well in my purse.

Now, as much as we try to shelter our children from bad language, they somehow come to learn it anyway. A lot of this comes from the words we say. For example, when the kids were just learning how to talk, I heard Carly say "DARN IT!" during her play. Years later, we caught Isaac saying "Dag nabbit." And we realized that what came out of our mouths truly shaped what came out of our kids' mouths. When I say "bad language," I'm talking about purposeful language, not the made-up syllables/words that end up sounding like bad words.

A few days ago, they learned and started using "Oh my gosh." This is not a terrible phrase, but it sounds terrible coming out of a small child's mouth. I looked at them and said that I didn't want them to use that word because it wasn't nice. Battle picked. A couple hours later, Isaac tried it again and looked at me. I looked back and reached for the alum. I told them that "Oh my goodness" sounded nicer. Then yesterday, he said, "Oh my....." and looked at me. I looked at him and didn't say a word. He smiled. Seconds later the kids raced for Carly's bedroom closet. I heard them both laughing loudly, saying "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" They weren't laughing anymore when I joined them in their closet with alum for each of them. Okay, so maybe this was a petty battle to pick, but I don't want them to end up changing their phrase, using the Lord's name in vain.

ALUM. Our current answer for pickling-the-tongue needs. Any other suggestions?