I don't want to tattle on our kids or reveal my mistakes as a mother. But I'm going to.
It was a perfect 75 degrees outside, as still and peaceful as a Beauty Rest pillow. I was hoeing the garden. The kids were playing on the swing set and came up with an absurd idea. "We want to watch a Blues Clues video!" Now, our TV is not hooked up to cable or satellite, so we get zero TV besides children's videos from the library. I answered the kids' request with, "It's too nice outside to watch videos inside. No videos today." They've heard this answer before, so they didn't whine or complain.
Minutes later, I saw them tiptoe inside (as if I couldn't plainly see them) as they whispered their plans to each other. I finished hoeing a few rows and went inside to check on them. The house was silent. I didn't see a light from under the basement door, so I checked their bedrooms. Silence. I re-checked the basement, this time opening the door. A light burned bright at the bottom of the stairs. Isaac was sitting in the video rocker; Carly had quickly unplugged the TV. The awful evidence of an empty DVD case lying open on the floor. Caught red-handed. I said in a very slow and quiet voice, "Go. to. your. rooms." I needed a minute to think of what to do with this situation. Blues Clues is a pretty innocent program, but disobedience and deception is not.
On one hand, it simply amazed me that a five-year-old could/would attempt to trick me into thinking they were not downstairs by turning off the stairway light and shutting the door, making it look like nothing was out of place. And to further cover up the wrong by unplugging the TV to hide their disobedience reminded me of Eve. On the other hand, it upset me to see obvious sin in my babies' hearts.
We learned about obedience and being truthful that day by discussing and reading from parts of Exodus 20... of course followed by a spankin' for each kid and a decree of no videos for two weeks. I gave the kids hugs afterwards and told them I loved them. We pray daily that their hearts would be molded to follow Christ. Next book on my list to read is Shepherding a Child's Heart. And it probably wouldn't hurt if you gave me parenting tips too.
Sounds like you handled it pretty well. I have had parent's tell me that their child never lies and would never do anything I observed them doing. As a teacher I had to just sit there, knowing they were being deceived. Admitting that your children have sinful natures is a good step. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYou and Jared are great parents! Your kids are so blessed to have you. I think you handled this situation fine, but I will share a general parenting tip anyway! Here is my tip...a pretty secular one, but one that was important for me to remember throughout all the "developmental" stages.
ReplyDeleteI have two children 4 years apart in age. Four years is huge in child development. What was needed for one was not always right for the other. Decide early on how you'll plan for this. What is appropriate for one child will not always be appropriate for the other simply because of the age difference (or sometimes because of personalities, genders, cultural changes, etc). Reasoning, explaining, discipline methods, the giving (or taking) of responsibilities and privileges cannot always be "doled out" to two children exactly the same ... even if they are like best friends to one another! It doesn't mean you're not a "fair" parent if you treat two children a bit differently.
Thank you for the advice!! I need to remember this.
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